Hi gang! Imagine how hard it is to go about your daily life while experiencing mental health problems. You are constantly weighted down by the inevitable futility of existence and everything seems to take a thousand times more effort than usual. Now imagine that, in addition, you are struggling to keep abreast of the current trends in depression chic. Well worry no longer! Here is your definitive guide on how to dress when you’re depressed!
When dressing for depression, comfort is key. Choose your outfit with your favourite activities in mind. At any point, you may be required to stay in bed, stare at the walls, make cups of tea and watch endless episodes of star trek. Try to dress appropriately.
Bottoms: Pajama bottoms provide comfort, warmth and versatility. Test them out before you buy. Ankle-swinging pajama bottoms are the work of the devil. Remember that men’s pajamas are infinitely better, A jolly pattern will lift your spirits! (The pictured are my second favourite pair of PJ bottoms. My favourite ones feature whimsical pictures of foxes but they have avocado smooshed into them right now so I can’t show you.)
Tops: Baggy t-shirts that you got for free from helping at some event are the ultimate in depression chic. (How do you tell a sci-commer? All of their PJ tops say science festival on them.) Dark colours will disguise food spills from where you couldn’t be bothered to sit up properly to eat your cereal.
Footwear: Slippers or cosy socks. No need for shoes, you’re not going anywhere.
Hair: Dirty and mad.
Make-up: Yesterday’s is still good.
By following these simple rules, you too can be depressed and stylish at the same time! Note: this advice also applies to dressing for hangovers.